Who wants to come work with 505?

"505Turbeaux" (505turbeaux)
05/05/2015 at 12:45 • Filed to: oppo jobs

Throwing it out there for anyone interested in relocating to beautiful Portland, Maine. I need a web developer skilled in punching out wordpress sites from design to build. If you are an Opponaut and have some skills (related skills are considered, SEO, SEM, design) and a portfolio of sorts, get at me and we can talk further. Job starts 6/1. What we are looking for:

• Expertise in integrating WordPress CMS technology

• Ability to troubleshoot Front-End and Back-End coding bugs

• PHP and JavaScript ability (ex. Form Integration, validation)

• Knowledge of HTML 5 and responsive coding for mobile

• Cross browser/platform testing

• Understanding creative briefs, interpreting site maps, and building sites quickly

and creatively

• Create intuitive user interfaces to accompany builds

• Put in place methodology that allows for scalability of all created digital assets

• Create homepage and interior page designs

• Ability to work internally with a number of different people/roles to complete

projects on time and within budget

• Ability to take initiative and teach yourself new skills

• Must have a sense of humor

• 2-5 years of experience in web design, web development and preferably in agency

setting

• Experience and comfort working/speaking directly with clients

• Expert communication skills, and willingness to work in a collaborative team

environment

Let’s just say the company gave me more than I was asking for in salary.

DISCUSSION (33)

Verdog ~ manual Bro, Bro - HellHawk Equipped > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:47

I can use MSPaint.....

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:48

How much actual work would be expected vs posting on Oppo?

BeaterGT > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:50

I know MySQL. How little does that help me?

duurtlang > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:51

My skill (and ambition of living in the US) is lacking. I can offer something else: Here’s a rough 504 from 1974 I just spotted in a crappy side of town. Not exactly a car you see everyday.

Kinja'd!!!

505Turbeaux > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
05/05/2015 at 12:51

lol as much work as you need to do to meet goals - the rest is all oppo time

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:52

If I didn’t have surgery on 6/3 and it didn’t snow even worse there than it does here, I’d be interested. Although if it’d pay me LOTS of monies, I AM interested. lol

505Turbeaux > duurtlang
05/05/2015 at 12:52

wow! Love the euro headlights on those too

Money Hustard > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:53

Damn it, today of all days I didn’t need to see this....

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > duurtlang
05/05/2015 at 12:54

Why is your crappy side of town so clean?

505Turbeaux > Money Hustard
05/05/2015 at 12:54

one of those? Sorry man

duurtlang > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
05/05/2015 at 12:55

Because the Netherlands.

duurtlang > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:56

I just noticed that Kinja resized the pictures here. The original picture is of a far higher resolution. You used to alter the url to original.jpg, but that doesn’t appear to be possible any more. Sadly.

ly2v8-Brian > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:56

Haven't done any of that and humor goes against my Germanic programming. When can I start?

OPPOsaurus WRX > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 12:57

Yea i can;t do most of that but i’ll design that person a house when they get their big fat paycheck

505Turbeaux > ly2v8-Brian
05/05/2015 at 12:57

damn if you were only a little bit closer to my requirement!!!

505Turbeaux > duurtlang
05/05/2015 at 12:58

kinja hacking the bandwidth down. Mo clicks, less bandwidth, mo money

ly2v8-Brian > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:01

Verdammt! Well I tried. Back to the studying for me.

Alfalfa Romeo > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:04

I can’t do any of that, but I can make a mean milkshake.

Actually, I can’t even do that.

505Turbeaux > Alfalfa Romeo
05/05/2015 at 13:05

damn I was going to hire you to make milkshakes too

Money Hustard > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:11

In a good way, I guess. My ability to sell and retain marketing services is greatly outpacing my ability to provide them and hire truly qualified people to do it.

Until I find like 2-3 more good hires, I’m in hell.

No shit, I’m literally doing some SEO for “rectal surgeons” (among other doctor types) at this part of my day. Then I’ll have to hop into real estate, then into law firms, then back into medical, then content marketing for attractions, then logistics and transportation, then financial services, then economic development, then inbound marketing car insurance, back to law firms for some SEM, and round the day off with some SaaS companies. Tomorrow will be a half dozen other verticals.

It won’t be this year, but when I finally hop out of agency life and into just one specialty it’s going to be incredible for me.

Alfalfa Romeo > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:11

Understanding creative briefs

Your new job sounds interesting.

LongbowMkII > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:13

I have 0 of those skills

Portland, ME is a nice town.

When can I start? Do you mind if i use your bathroom? These local Craigslist RV's are lacking.

Money Hustard > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:14

Not to mention the great Northeast calls to me from time to time to return....

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:15

Dammit, Now I wanna milkshake

505Turbeaux > Money Hustard
05/05/2015 at 13:19

yeah it is very difficult to wear the marketing shoes for so many different verticals. I have always been of the mind that you can really only effectively (read:beat out all of your competitors) market things you know and are passionate about. I dont see you being over the top in love with rectal surgery, but maybe SEO isn’t too bad in that field. Gawd, blessing and a curse you have right there

Justin Hughes > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:23

If you can loan me a time machine, I can go back a few years, pick up my earlier self from back then, and drop him at your doorstep before he moves out of Maine and has too many things keeping him in Mass right now (among other things, already having a good job).

I’m sure that won’t cause a time travel paradox, and any total annihilation of the time/space continuum will be confined to this half of the galaxy.

Money Hustard > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 13:24

My only problem is not loudly chortling the entire time. Everytime I think I’m suppressed it, I then see a colorectal surgeons photo where he’s smiling just a little too eagerly and the giggleloop starts all over again.

I don’t have to be into what I’m marketing, I just need to be able to put myself in the shoes of the customer, it’s something I find a lot of happiness in for some reason. It’s like a get to be an actor without all the stagefright and pressure to stay skinny. One of the only clients I ever fired had me doing nothing but oncology and robotic hysterectomy marketing. Inhabiting the customer’s minds was just too damn much in that instance.

505Turbeaux > Money Hustard
05/05/2015 at 13:27

oh man I could imagine that would be tough. I wont even go there.

505Turbeaux > Justin Hughes
05/05/2015 at 13:28

haha ok let me see if I can start the damn thing up

505 - morphine not found > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 15:36

Dammit Jim, I’m not a programmer, i am a video production guy. Get back to me if you have one of those gigs lined up.

Kinja'd!!!

(Seriously though. I’m this close to being eligible for a green card, and have migrating on my mind for the longest time....)

505Turbeaux > 505 - morphine not found
05/05/2015 at 15:41

I know of a few places around that would be happy to have you if you are serious. Very possibly at my place now once we flesh out the future programs

Alfalfa Romeo > 505Turbeaux
05/05/2015 at 16:00

I came here to kick ass and make milkshakes...and I don’t even know how to make milkshakes.

Saf1 > duurtlang
05/05/2015 at 18:08

I remember something like XLARGE maybe with a hyphen?